Setting myself up for disappointment

Seriously, is that all that I do?



As usual in my daily life, thought of various things are running rampant through my mind. I have been seeing "New Guy" (off and on) for nearly 4 months now. By "seeing" I mean, he has come to my place, and we have had our fun. Neither of us wanting a "serious" relationship.



I don't know, maybe I do... Maybe I do want someone that is around more often than once a month... Maybe I do want someone to stay over and spend the weekend w/ me. Perhaps even going on an actual "date"..... Or maybe it's just too soon for any of it. Sometimes I think I am still too caught up in the past. I try to move forward, then I worry if I am moving too fast. I have moved to fast before and got into something in a "too much too soon" sort of way, that just ended up hurting me in the end. Sometimes I feel I move to slow, while other times I feel I move too fast. All the while just trying to go w/ the flow.......a recent discovery has stopped me in my tracks....

I just found out my ex is moving in w/ a girl he has only been going out w/ for 3 months! and they're "in love"... There is NO WAY that I could do that.. I mean, I might could have a guy move in w/ me, in a "hey, we're pals, we like each others company, and we want cheaper rent" sort of way... but not already be saying I am "soo in love w/ him" in such a short period of time.

Plus, he made the comment "she's 5 foot 9 and she's a model and she's bi so sometimes I get threesomes" .. so I am not really buying the love crap.. Sounds like he is "loving" the fun...not the reality. I guess I have a preset (not exact) time frame of how long I think it should be before the "love" stuff all comes out..... Perhaps I am just frustrated with this situation because I am not in a similar situation of my own.

At the same time, I don't think I really want that situation. I like being on my own, A LOT!.. I like not having to answer to anyone, come and go as I please, and not worry about whether my actions are going to impact the person I am with. Maybe I just need to figure myself out...